romantic thoughts #2

Together we will walk along the beach for the first time in a world suddenly devoid of all others. Nervously our minds race for conversation as though the air between us requires the frequency of voices as it requires and draws into it the waters of the sea in tiny jewels of precipitation.

Our destination will be lost like an individual leaf in a pile as moments of past, present and future stack upon each other in comfortable meaninglessness. All that remains is the slow pulling need to release our very essence into the air between us and mingle with one another, forming clouds of who we are to drift away and rain down on the sea from where we came.

romantic thoughts #1

whisked away to an arabian oasis where we shall sip from small glasses of good coffee whilst reclining on piles of priceless rugs and scattered red and gold cushions. In the cool of the evening we will count the shooting stars. At dawn we ride to war side by side on tall white horses. Under a relentless sun together we fight the good fight. Swords flash and heroes have thier day. Afterwards, amidst the cheers of victory our army will bear you upon thier shoulders proclaiming you queen of all you survey and i shall wait patiently, ever the humble warrior, for the return of my queen.

maybe i like bling

These are the days we waited for though now they are here we are looking to the new days. There can be no new day that we can touch. Our own observation ages the new to the present. Change doesn't seem an external event that has been racing towards us from the future to meet us in the now but. Change may be the thoughts we send ahead of us and lay down a path according to the geography and perhaps the timbre of the emotions of their origin. Dragged into a future of our own making or pushing forward with thoughts ahead of us like the bow of a ship parting water.

dear god

Dearest god/gods/all great and powerful thing/s etc,
I was under the assumption we had an agreement that at this point in time its all about staying the course so to speak. This arrangement i found agreeable. You and i have very little to do with each other these days and i must say i felt it my just reward to live thus, beyond turmoil, after much time in the aforementioned.
Seemingly though you feel its time to prod at my peripherals and i must say its very uncomfortable. In spite of my christian psyche and all that lead me to hypothesize a nurturing entity, more likely it becomes with the passage of time that, and i say this with the deepest respect, you are a meddling and mischievous force. Its this Epiphany that serves as proof for me that you do indeed use the internet and will get this message. Having said this i can only hope that you will empathize with my position as i do yours.
My limited comprehension gives me the belief that our previous transactions are of certain general themes. In this instance i would humbly suggest that any magic upheavals to my own life would be undesirable to all. This though does not mean i would not be available as a momentary conduit, eg/, helping an old woman to catch her bus because if she missed it she was to be run down at zebra crossing which in turn would of held up traffic long enough for a crazed assassin to catch his prey and kerry anne kennally would die thus depriving hundreds of people their morning viewing pleasure which in turn causes a slump in the national happiness bringing the GDP to a standstill and i think you get my point. I would be quite open to something like that.
May this note find you in good health and cheer and may it provide some small insights as to the wants of a lesser being.

thoughts in the morning

This wind blows with such fierce determination
It belittles my own objectives today
And commands me to witness,
from here,
my bed.

This very air that forces itself through my narrow valley
may well have roared past you
on your distant coast.
Lashing the tin of your town and
boiling the surf through the moonless night.
dogs hiding
street lamps swaying.

 it brings me these thoughts
as it ebbs to into a passing reprieve.
The old pine in my garden adopts an optimistic posture
yet Damocles sword still hangs above it
Just as it must for us all.

I can picture you,
drawn to some lonely sea cliff,
alone with this fierce wind as it rips back layers of your thoughts
determined for you to have a mind cleared of all
but the majesty of the moment


I’d stand there with you
as your hair whipped
small reminders to watch,
Witness the foam killing itself against the cliff face
over and over again
The sea birds fighting and screaming for shelter
along precarious ledges.
The ocean itself has brought a war against the rock,
the wind is allied and feverish in its partnership.
There stands you.
All of this is just for you.
Every element acting in unison conspired to create this intensely
beautiful, wild moment
just to be witnessed by you.

This air breathes past my window now.
the very air
That whipped your hair

have you ever

Have you ever been walking down the street and realised that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk..

creating silence in a forum

My feeling is that confusion reigns supreme in the debate of our origins. In archeology we see the more we find the less we know. Hominids walking with dinosaurs, the bronze age stretching back to previously un-thought of depths in time. They say there is a seed of truth in every myth and i think its also true that there is a seed at the core of this need to search for our origins. It is the search for our meaning lead by a desire to find ultimate purpose.
Perhaps it does us all good to set our minds against these impossible puzzles, perhaps in doing so we create an empathy with whats gone before us and with that a greater sense of where we are going.
My own thoughts, researches and intuition regarding spirituality so far have lead to just this, it's through us that the universe experiences itself. Everything else is just a metaphor or a lense if you like and they are all valid in their way. I will say that every god ever worshiped has one thing in common and that is us. It was us that named them, and us that described them and it was us that either maintained the gods or let them slip from their thrones. Some of our greatest scientific minds tells us maybe there's 26 or so dimensions/universes, all naming and describing their own gods and in doing so blessing themselves with their own meaning and purpose.

 forgive this next analogy; if the universe was playdough we could hold and mold there would be only that amount of playdough, no more and no less yet with that finite amount of matter we can create infinite "things". I am convince i will never know if there is an entity playing with the playdough in this universe or if this universe is the entity.
One could argue that as we have our bodies which is made of the same stuff that the rest of the play dough universe is made perhaps we effect our play dough by our actions in life. when the matter/energy/playdough moves on in death perhaps it carries with it the memory of us much like playdough retains the heat of the hands using it and the discolourations  after the creating is over.
i hope you managed to follow me down that rabbits warren.
keep up the good work.

you. no one in particular.

in many ways perhaps i wish to draw you into my skin and thus you'll feel my torments and have perfect empathy. Truly i crave perfect empathy and so i cast seeds into the wind knowing not where they come to rest but ever hopeful. Sad it may seem and yet i dont think i am dissimilar to many. Hunkered in to narrow shelters, weathering the storms in life. Just like storms these events seemingly are random and the cause unfathomable to any but the gods. The gurus may speculate and pontificate upon golden dias but truly who knows whose to blame? Not me.
i would very much like to be judged mildly and yet i would confess that i'm a harsh judge myself. Within me is my father and his before etc and so ultimately to those facing any personal problems i find myself expecting others to pull their socks up. my own socks are down.